Sometimes Sisters

I'm always amazed at the complexity of people. People and analyzing them is my line of work, but it always amazes me how as human beings, we will fight what's best for us, how unyielding we can be, how foolish despite all advice to the contrary.

Last week I was asked to name the 3 most significant events in my family (aside from my own marriage). In no particular order, I chose My parent's divorce, my brother's birth, and Zoie's leaving. Like my parent's divorce, I feel as if Zoie's departure will always be something to be processed, not something I will ever be able to understand or place in a neat box.

I grew up knowing Zoie my sister, but now she's my "sometimes sister." She is when she wants to be, and isn't when she doesn't. I stopped writing poetry after I graduated college, and I really miss it. I tried again the other night. Here's the result:

In our family
            Sister
    is the most honored title--
                  right under
            Mother.
The most sacred, the most esteemed
          and now, thanks to you--
                   the most feared.
Pleading ignorance, and simple self-preservation
          are only acceptable reasons
                   if you are stupid and selfish--
        Both of which
                 you endlessly argued
                                 you weren't.
Now, free of us, you can finally be the real you.
                     The real you, you now say
        We suffocated and stifled on a daily basis.
                                I'm not sure I'll ever meet her.
And in the end, the very things you
              accused us of making you,
                         are the very things you now make yourself to us:
invisible, anonymous, unknown.