A Letter to Little Me

Dear Little (pre-teen and teenage) Me.

I'm sorry. I don't remember you that well. There are glimpses and pieces I know I see sometimes when I look in the mirror, but mostly--I've forgotten you. And I know it's been little by little, and completely on purpose.

You have a great life now. You're married to a wonderful man you didn't meet until you stopped running after the idiots who were in love with your best friends, who just used you because you let them, who never shared your dreams or had your best interest in mind.

Don't take Chloe to dance that one day you think you're helping--Mom ends up thinking Chloe was kidnapped. Help Austyn not to worry so much, enjoy watching him grow up. Don't tell everyone that hickey you got was a scratch from Austyn when he climbed over your bed that one morning--it will not be believable and you will not live it down even well into your 20's. Don't let Nicole pull the car up into the driveway the 3rd week you start driving your own car--it doesn't end well.

Stop worrying. You are LOVED. By family, friends, but most importantly, by the Heavenly Father who made you and watches over you daily. He is the only one that matters anyhow. You are BEAUTIFUL, even though you won't ever believe that completely. You are SMART. You are COMPASSIONATE and PASSIONATE in general. You are worth being treated well. You'll settle for less, but will soon discover that it isn't necessary.

Things are coming that are going to hurt. Pain is inevitable. Your response is the only thing you control, and even that isn't worth it sometimes. Things will hurt whether or not you respond appropriately anyway. You'll find out even family isn't permanent, in this world that is ever changing--daily. Cling to HIM because he is unchanged, unmoving, and if you're paying attention his love is palpable. Let it be palpable.